How to tell your instructor your riding goals have changed

Your riding goals shift as you grow. What felt urgent last year might no longer matter, or you've discovered a discipline that excites you more than the one you started in. Area 18 Riding knows that talking to your instructor about changing direction feels harder than it should, but the conversation opens doors rather than closing them. You'll learn how to frame the change, what your instructor needs to hear and how to keep your lessons productive through the transition.

Recognise when your goals have genuinely shifted

You'll know it's time to speak up when your lessons start to feel disconnected from what you care about. Perhaps you joined a riding club to hack out with friends but find yourself drawn to dressage tests, or you trained for show jumping but now prefer flatwork. The mismatch shows up in your motivation before it shows up anywhere else.

Some riders mistake a difficult patch for a change of heart. A few frustrating weeks learning flying changes doesn't mean you've fallen out of love with dressage; it means you're working through something hard. Give yourself time to separate a temporary slump from a real shift in what you want from riding.

Write down what you want now

Before you approach your instructor, clarify your new direction for yourself. Write three sentences about what you want your riding to look like over the coming months. Be specific: "I want to compete in unaffiliated dressage" is more useful than "I want to try something new". Your instructor can help you build a plan around clarity, but vague dissatisfaction leaves both of you guessing.

Choose the right moment for the conversation

Don't raise the topic in the middle of a lesson or when your instructor is rushed between clients. Ask for a few minutes after your session or send a message suggesting a brief chat before your next ride. Most instructors would rather hear about a change in person than sense your growing frustration week after week.

If you ride at a busy yard, arrive early and catch your instructor before the session begins. Timing matters because the conversation deserves their full attention, and you deserve a thoughtful response rather than a hurried one.

Frame the change as progress, not dissatisfaction

Start by acknowledging what you've gained so far. Your instructor has invested time in your development, and opening with criticism puts them on the defensive. Try something like: "The work we've done on my position has made a real difference, and now I'd like to focus more on cross-country." This approach signals growth rather than failure.

Explain what sparked the change without apologising for it. You might have watched a discipline at a competition and felt drawn to it, or realised that your initial goals no longer fit your life. Instructors see riders evolve constantly; what feels awkward to you is routine to them.

Be honest about what's not working

If your current lessons feel misaligned, say so plainly. "I'm finding the jumping work less engaging than I expected" is more helpful than dropping hints. Your instructor can't adjust your programme if they don't know what's lost your interest. Honesty speeds up the solution.

Outline what you'd like to work on instead

Come prepared with a rough plan. If you want to switch from show jumping to eventing, mention the skills you'll need to build. If you're moving away from competition altogether and prefer hacking, explain that too. The more concrete your request, the faster your instructor can reshape your lessons.

Ask whether your current horse or the horses available at your club suit your new direction. A cob built for confidence-building hacks won't give you the feel you need for advanced flatwork, and your instructor will know which mounts match your goals. This practical question shows you've thought the change through.

Understand what your instructor needs from you

Your instructor will want to know whether this change is a lasting shift or an experiment. Be clear about your level of commitment. If you're curious about a new discipline but not ready to abandon your current one, propose splitting your lessons between the two for a few weeks. If the change is permanent, say so.

Some goals require different instructors. A generalist who teaches beginners across disciplines might not have the expertise to take you through advanced dressage, and they'll often suggest someone better placed to help. Accept the recommendation without taking it personally; it's a sign they care about your progress.

Ask about timescales and stepping stones

Find out how long it will take to build the foundation for your new goal. Switching from flatwork to show jumping means developing a secure position over fences before you see a course, and your instructor will map out the stages. Understanding the journey helps you stay patient when early progress feels slow.

Steps to prepare for the conversation

1. List what you've enjoyed most in your recent lessons and what you've found yourself avoiding or dreading.
2. Research your new direction enough to ask informed questions about what it involves and whether your club supports it.
3. Check your schedule and budget to confirm the change is realistic given your available time and money.
4. Write down your main points so nerves don't derail the conversation when you're face to face.
5. Rehearse the opening sentence until it sounds natural and confident rather than apologetic.

Handle resistance calmly

Your instructor might push back if they believe you're abandoning a goal prematurely or underestimating the challenge ahead. Listen to their concerns without becoming defensive. They've seen riders make impulsive changes and regret them, so their caution often comes from experience rather than stubbornness.

If your instructor dismisses your new goal outright or refuses to adapt your lessons, you have a decision to make. A good instructor adjusts to their rider's evolving needs; one who insists you continue on a path that no longer serves you might not be the right fit. Choosing a riding club that fits your level applies just as much when your level or interests change as it does at the start.

Agree on a trial period

Suggest working towards your new goal for a set number of weeks before reviewing progress. This gives you both an exit point if the change doesn't work out, and it reassures your instructor that you're approaching the shift thoughtfully. A trial period also lets you test whether the new direction genuinely suits you or whether you were chasing a passing enthusiasm.

Set a date for the check-in and treat it seriously. Your instructor will want to know whether you're still engaged, and you'll want feedback on whether you're making the progress you hoped for. The conversation becomes easier the second time.

Keep communicating as you transition

Once your lessons shift, tell your instructor what's working and what isn't. If the pace feels too fast or too cautious, speak up before frustration builds. Changing goals doesn't end the conversation; it starts a new phase of the working relationship.

Your instructor will adjust their teaching as they learn how you respond to the new material. Some riders thrive on detailed technical feedback when learning a fresh skill, while others need more space to experiment. Let them know which approach helps you absorb the change most effectively.

Celebrate small wins along the way

Acknowledge progress even when it feels modest. Your first clear round after switching to show jumping or your first accurate dressage test after years of hacking both deserve recognition. Sharing these moments with your instructor reinforces that the change was the right call and keeps motivation high.

What to compare when weighing your options

Know when to find a new instructor

If your instructor lacks the skills to teach your new discipline or shows no interest in adapting, it might be time to move on. A coach who trains show jumpers won't necessarily understand the biomechanics of advanced flatwork, and staying with them out of loyalty holds you back. Thank them for what they've taught you and find someone whose expertise aligns with where you're heading.

Changing instructors feels disloyal, but it's a normal part of progressing through riding. Most instructors would rather see you thrive elsewhere than stay and stagnate. If you're uncertain about the decision, a riding club committee can sometimes recommend other coaches within the club or nearby.

Recognise that goals will keep evolving

The goal you're moving towards now won't be your last. Riders who compete for years sometimes step back to focus on hacking; others discover a passion for teaching. Each shift teaches you more about what you value in riding, and each conversation with your instructor becomes easier than the one before.

The riders who progress furthest aren't the ones who never change direction. They're the ones who speak up when their path no longer fits, adjust course and keep riding with purpose. Your instructor wants to be part of that journey, not an obstacle to it.

#Instructor #Flatwork #Dressage

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